This week we look at social life. Get this one right, and it will boost your happiness like little else.
I went through a very difficult time a couple of years ago. I was bogged down by a variety of relentless and difficult problems, none of which had easy solutions, and they all just kept coming. It was relentless. I had a brilliant year in the end despite that, because I sat down and came up with an action plan, and one of the key areas I planned in was to re-vamp my social life which had dropped off the edge of a cliff.
The results were magic! It wasn’t the only thing I did, but it was really pivotal in turning what could have been an intolerable situation into a manageable and balanced one.
How did I do it? I literally went through a list of all my friends, people I had really cared about, and I got back in touch. I set up plans to meet up with those I could. Not everyone was able to jump in right away, but that was fine, because I had some nice social events, and then caught up with them later. I set a special reunion with people I had not seen in 10 years, and made a special trip (spending time, money) to go and see them. We had a wonderful time!
And as part of all this, people talked. I got to hear about all their problems, or their friends problems, and quite honestly, much as I was struggling, almost everyone had a story that was way worse than anything I was contending with.
It really helped me get perspective, to count my blessings and even feel grateful that I was not dealing with much worse. Besides, there is nothing like an evening with a good friend talking about the world at large to help you realise your own problems at not nearly as big, interesting or important as you imagine.
Don’t have a social life you can dust off and need to set one up from scratch? That’s a very common situation these days, and one it’s easy to set goals in by researching and exploring what social situations you might enjoy are available to you.
Another theme for people in this area is just development of social skills. Feel shy? Introverted? Inhibited? No good at small talk? These are all things that can be addressed and the confidence you will get as a result will be insane.
One other theme is social group. Have a good social group already, but you want to expand it? Well, consider what kind of people you would like to hang out with. Who are they? What are their hobbies, interests, characteristics? In short, where are they likely to be hanging out, and how can you join in? Failing all else an interesting way can be the 6 degrees of separation technique. Who do you know who knows these people? Who knows someone who knows them?
Everyone needs a proper social life. You will have a tonne of fun if you set goals in this area. Enjoy!
Hope this helped, comment below.