In part seven of our ongoing series on goal setting success, this week we look at family.
If you think that the idea of setting goals in relation to family is weird, think again. Although even the concept of “managing” your relationship with your family in any way may feel uncomfortable, repulsive, forced, your family is no different to any other life area.
If you do not take the time to think about what you want and go about getting it in different ways than you have tried previously, nothing will change. And if you are thinking, but Veronica, my family life is great! It is just perfect, I wouldn’t change a thing, well, I am genuinely happy for you, but are you sure you have no goals in relation to your family? You would not like to spend more time with them? You would not like to take them on a dream holiday? Nothing?
So, goal setting for family. This usually works best if you consider each member of your family individually, what’s great, what’s not, what would you like to be different? Is there anyone you need to re-connect with? Is there anyone you need to let go of?
Only you know what goals you want to set. Almost everyone has something around frequency and type of contact (more quality time with the kids, speak to my Uncle more often) , that kind of thing.
The important difference with this is the way you will go about pursuing your goals. It has to be authentic. Your family are still just people, and will respond in the same way other people do to certain prompts, but they know you intimately, can push your buttons in ways you can’t control, and there is real history there. So, take it gently. These are not clients to woo to give you more money, they are people to woo to give you more love. And usually to get more love, we have to give more.
Unless you have a real boundary problem. Some people cannot disentangle love from care, but they are separate things. One client got into real difficulties when his elderly mother got overly reliant on him to be everything to her. What does the healthiest, best version of your relationship look like? What works for everyone?
Hope this helped, comment below.